Children are very sensitive, from a young age can distinguish and understand the emotions of adults, if parents are often angry with their children, this can harm the child’s later development.
Many parents always think that children are too young to understand words when angry or complaining about their children. In fact, children can understand emotions by interpreting their parents’ facial expressions, tone of voice, and behavioral expressions.
According to a Harvard University study, children who are often scolded by their parents have lower IQs and language abilities than other children.
Children often scolded have lower IQ?
Martin A. Teicher, an associate professor at Harvard University, found in one study that children who were accused of hitting and yelling for a long time had 14% lower gray matter in the brain area. left temple compared with normal children.
Research also shows that language and IQ are closely related, meaning that scolding children for a long time will affect children’s IQ and language ability.
The scientists found two 3-year-olds who performed brain scans. One child is often praised, the other is often scolded.
Children are very sensitive, from a young age can distinguish and understand the emotions of adults.
As a result, the resulting images are very different. Children who get yelled at have significantly smaller brains. The smaller the brain volume, the less intellectual development.
When parents scold their children, they will bring negative psychological suggestions to their children. If this continues, children gradually internalize these negative judgments into their own judgments, until the child becomes a “naughty child”, a “stupid child” like the parent’s assessment. .
Children who grow up in scolding easily leave psychological scars
A survey by American sociologist Mori Strauss found that nearly 90% of parents yelled at their children.
This not only creates a violent effect on the child, but also easily leaves psychological scars in the child’s later life. But in reality, a child’s heart is under tremendous pressure
Controlling children to become timid and difficult to develop good character
Yang Shuo, a woman living with her family in China, brought her son to participate in a variety show, lively discussions around the topic of methods that Yang Shuo used to educate. children.
Yang Shuo’s sister proceeded to befriend her son, but the boy had a timid attitude, even fear when his mother approached. When the MC asked why he had such an attitude towards his mother, the boy said that the mother always expressed and vented her feelings, often scolded without caring about the feelings of her children.
If parents are often irritable with their children, this can harm the child’s later development.
Experts say that when children are often scolded by their parents, they will create a feeling of fear and do not want to do anything to avoid being scolded. Children who live under their parents’ bullying will not trust others and do not appreciate themselves.
Because of this, children are increasingly indecisive, when faced with difficulties, they are prone to fear, lack of sense of responsibility, timid before everything around, prone to psychological problems such as moodiness, low self-esteem, even autistic.
Leaving a psychological obsession for the child for a lifetime
An experiment by Dr. Ethan Kross at the University of Michigan found that emotional and physical pain respond very similarly in regions of the brain.
This means that when parents yell at their children, the emotional harm the child receives can be the same as the physical harm.
Yelling is like invisible knives, if parents scold for a long time, the child’s body and mind will leave a lifelong obsession.
How should parents teach their children not to scold?
Psychologist Marshall Luxemburg once gave some appropriate suggestions, for parents to use in their education in a gentler way, instead of scolding.
Learn how to stabilize emotions
Emotional stability is a required course for parents, it’s important to know how to heal yourself first, and then discipline your children properly.
Scientist and meditation teacher, Dr. Kabat-Zin believes that a lack of “mindfulness” can cause many emotional problems. That is, when we are doing something that we are thinking and worrying negatively, we will easily do bad things and slander others.
From a parenting perspective, when accompanying their children, parents should eliminate other distracting thoughts and devote all their energies to the parenting process, always reminding themselves and learning how to treat their children. in a more gentle way.
According to a Harvard University study, children who are often scolded by their parents have lower IQs and language abilities than other children.
On the basis of “mindfulness,” there are a few small ways to help parents control their emotions:
Breathe deeply and relax: When parents feel they have negative emotions, first take a few deep breaths or use other methods to relieve the mind, such as meditation, singing, running, writing notes… Previous Release the stress first and then talk to the child.
Temporarily leaving that situation: When there are negative emotions, parents can try to temporarily leave the environment at that time, go to a more comfortable place, breathe, relax themselves for a while, reminding parents not to instinctively discipline their children. .
Ask Why? What? How?: This is the approach proposed by education expert Daniel Siegel at Harvard in his book, “Discipline of De-Emotions.” Before you prepare to discipline your child, take a few minutes to ask yourself these three questions:
“Why is my child behaving like this?”
“At this moment, what do I want to teach my children?”
“How to teach children effectively?”
When negative emotions arise, use these 3 questions to find out the cause of anger, emotions will naturally turn to reason.
Criticize, but should not criticize the child
For your child’s misbehavior, evaluate them objectively, fairly, and without being critical. Parents can completely judge children in a different way.
Because often criticizing children can be counterproductive and make children more difficult to obey.
Listening and talking to children is a good way to teach them not to spank.
Listen to children’s needs
Behind every child’s behavior there is a corresponding motivation. When children have “problematic” behaviors, parents should ask themselves: “Why does the child do this?”, “What does the child really want?”
Only by listening to the child’s inner voice and understanding the real needs can parents “prescribe” the right medicine and solve the problem in a fundamental way.
Communicate with children in easy-to-understand language
Things that are simple for adults can be new and unfamiliar to children. So when your child makes a mistake, don’t worry. First of all, observe whether your own educational method is outside the scope of your child’s understanding. If so, give specific instructions simpler and easier to understand so that the child is “ready” to be obedient.
As long as parents always maintain their love, they can one day get rid of their bad temper and give their children the best education.
at Blogtuan.info – Source: Eva.vn – Read the original article here
