Ex-husband only loves children until… has a new girlfriend

My ex-husband and I broke up in a happy and civilized manner. Because I was separated 2 years ago, experiencing each other’s situation, I am quite reassured about his responsibilities to his children.

He loves you very much. During the separation, he still enthusiastically took his children to school, took care of him from clothes, pants to food and sleep. Although he is busy with work and doesn’t communicate much with me, he still understands the schedule, health situation and concerns of his children. You may be busy ignoring my messages. But as long as the content is related to the child, he always responds in a split second.

I used to confidently tell everyone that my separation did not affect my children. Because even though he lives separately, he still spends time with the children.

Ex-husband brings his girlfriend with him every time he picks up his children to go out (Artwork)

The truth went like that, until he got a new girlfriend. The change began when he picked up the child with his girlfriend, then took the child to eat and play in the presence of that woman.

At that time, my oldest child (12 years old) confided that she only wanted to see her father, or her father to go with her mother, but did not like that her father had another aunt. I feel sorry for him, but also explain to him that his father has a new friend, and will probably stick with her for a long time.

Thought “divorce shock” only hit my kids that way. But no, he began to become calculating, sparing every bit of time to spend with his children. In the past, as long as I informed him that he was busy, he would always think of a way to pick up the children. But now, he says he can only pick me up on the first 2 days of the week, and also says that he refuses to help me if I am stuck at work to pick up my children.

I told myself to get used to this, because it is understandable when we are no longer a husband and wife. I omitted him in the list of people I would ask to take care of my children if something went wrong.

Gradually, the children themselves also realized that in addition to providing transportation two days a week, he gradually abandoned all the unnamed care that he used to do before. “Why don’t you take me to the bookstore?”, “It’s been a long time since you let me eat spicy noodles?”, “These days, when I pick you up, I take you straight home, don’t take me out anymore”… The children take turns reminding them of the benefits that their father used to regularly create for them.

Before that, when I was always on the dark side with a salary job as an accountant at a bank, he always took the time to help my children have experiences such as going to bookstores, going to luxury restaurants… Because according to him, it is a necessary social experience for every child.

The days to see the father at the weekend are also gradually erratic. He is often “busy”, “has his own business” so as not to come and pick up his children. The quality of each encounter also declined. The children used to love their father very much, and always wanted to be with him. But now, after the rare times when I see my son off to his father, I often get a message from him: “Mom, I want to go back to you!”.

The children often lament that, when picking up their children at home, he just holds the phone, and sometimes even gets angry with them. He seemed to become a different person in the eyes of the children. While all these years he always begged me: to be restrained and happy in front of the children. I always say I can’t be with you all day, but be super happy and focused when I’m with you. He always condemns holding the phone in front of his children, even arguing with me when I come home, still holding the computer to work.

Perhaps, a man’s perception isn’t as important as how much he cares about that person, that. Before, the children were his family. And now, he has a whole future family to take care of with the new person. In the past, he focused most of his attention on his children, but when the concerns were divided, his actions were different.

I realized that divorce without affecting the children is actually just an illusion. Once we have adopted children after a divorce, we need to know in advance that it is likely that one day the burden of responsibility will fall on us. Because, the devotion of men (or maybe even women) will most likely decrease, when people begin to have their own love…

Thu Thuy (Hoc Mon, HCMC)

According to www.phunuonline.com.vn